Having Time

When you start a new job, you generally have the time to help people out and volunteer for just about anything. You aren't overworked, and you're eager to get going. It's easy enough for your coworkers to think you're a rockstar.

Then, over time, your inbox keeps filling up, higher and higher. It isn't long before you can't really do much in the way of helping others, because it's hard enough keeping up with your own stuff. It's not that you've changed at all, but it might look that way to new hires and people who remember the old you.

I'll need to savor this empty inbox as long as possible. And somehow save a little bit of time down the road to still be able to help people out...

On Discipline

You know the old saying:

Give someone an inch...

If nothing else, it's one reason to stick to your guns. Make a decision. Set a date. Stick to it. It's the only way to avoid being taken advantage...or taking advantage of someone else.

It's probably just like parenting. The only way your kids will end up well behaved is if you're consistent with them. And you don't make exceptions by giving in an extra inch or two once in a while.

I play this game with myself and guess where it gets me? I've had something on my to-do list for several months now.

I already put my foot down...let's see if I can keep it there.

Things I don't talk about

It was brought to my attention last night, that I have never talked about weight and body-image. There is a reason for this of course, and that's because it's not something that I ever think about personally. Another reason is that no man ever wants to get into a conversation about weight and body-image with women. Or men for that matter. (Although guys never sit around talking with each other about how fat they look).

It's the most helpless position to be in. Someone tells you that they're fat. You only have two possible responses:

1. Assure them they aren't fat.
2. Lie and tell them they aren't fat.

Either way, the person who thinks they're fat knows this, and since they have body-image issues to begin with, they assume number two. Even though they're asking for a reassuring number one response.

You'll remember this catch 22 as the same one that ensues when your significant other asks:

Honey, do you think I'm attractive?

Yes, this may be one of the first posts ever that doesn't even begin to draw some sort of conclusion or offer a final thought.

It's very hard to have a conversation about insecurities. What makes it so bizarre is that although insecurity is when people dislike the way they appear to others, no amount of reassurance from those "others" will make them feel better. The feeling better part needs to come from within, which of course, takes more than conversation.

Too Much of a Good Thing

It's no surprise that when you have too much of something, you no longer appreciate it as much. And depending on what we're talking about, it might only be a few days before it kicks in.

Before you ask what I'm referring to, just look at the time I posted this.

PS - Where I live the houses are so packed together that there's almost no grass, but yet somewhere there is space for hundreds of birds to begin their 'disruptive loitering' well before the sun starts to rise? They must get far too much sleep in the winter months...

On Role Models

I went to a wedding recently, and it was truly amazing what people were saying about the couple. Pretty much every person that took the mic left the audience in tears. It wasn't just their relationship that was talked about, but what they did to include, inspire, and love others.

Kinda makes you want to have people say that about you, right?

It definitely made me think about what I could do differently. It's not that I want to compete, or two look good on my wedding day. But who wouldn't want to leave that kind of impact in their wake?

Whatever you're involved in, you need people who both better than you, and people who are worse than you. You get motivation, knowledge, and perspective all at once.

I still exist

Sorry for the brief absence, I was out of town for a few days.

So twice now, people have mentioned "The Secret" which is a "life changing" book/DVD about how if you put out positive thoughts and energy into the world, that's what you'll get back from it.

Over 1300 people have reviewed it on amazon, and it seems to be one of those books that either gets 5 stars or 1 star. Half of the people love it, and the other half think it's a load of infomercial crap.

Has anyone out there read this or heard of it? I'm curious. If nothing else, I could justify reading it as research for this blog!

On Underperforming

Why is it that it's so easy to get pissed off at yourself or your sports team when it under performs, but it doesn't bother you to do under perform in other areas of your life?

A sporting event has a defined ending point, a clear victory condition, and a whole lotta rules. Life has none of these, so it's easy to trick yourself into pushing things back, potting things off, and changing the "rules" in your head to accommodate slacking off, changing your mind, and failure.

This is why it's so important to set concrete goals with timelines that you'll stick to. Sure, I'm not great at it yet either, but it been slowly sinking in for a while now. I know myself well enough to know that I trick myself into odd rationalizations that allow me to put things off almost indefinitely.

I'm excited that my new job will pretty much force me to keep track of everything, and I'll be held accountable when things get done. Hopefully, the habits I'm forced into will become second nature long after I've left them.

Doing stuff you don't want to do

I cleaned my desk the other day. The funny thing is that I don't think I need a clean desk. It never bothers me that it's messy. I clear some stuff aside, and do what needs to be done.

But oddly, when I cleaned it all out yesterday, I sat down and actually felt like being productive. It made me happy that the desk was clean. And, in the following days, I've sat at it much more than I normally do.

Maybe keeping those areas that are normally messy, like my car and my desk, can be that "One thing" I change that ends up subtly affecting everything else?

On Sleep and Timeframes

Maybe this is totally off subject, but I can't seem to figure out a sleeping schedule. Basically, how much sleep I get doesn't seem to effect how tired I feel the next day, provided I get a certain amount (around 6 hours). If I have 10 hours to sleep, I'll sleep 10, and won't feel that much more refreshed. If I have 6 hours, I'll sleep 6, and be fine.

Sometimes it seems like I'm more tired when I get more sleep, but I can't prove that for certain. Are there any hard a fast rules that work for everyone? I always hear about 8 hours of sleep is the right amount. When I had the time, I used to get 10, then I realized that I was "wasting" 4 hours every day, so I started getting 6 and seemed to function exactly the same.

Maybe this is just a big metaphor for getting things done. If you are given a deadline, you'll set yourself up so that the task fills that allotted space, even if you could have done it in a much shorter time frame. If you watch Flip This House, they always set this ridiculously short deadlines that never seem like they are going to be met. But somehow, they always pull it off by really cranking in those last two days.

So try challenging yourself with an aggressive schedule and see how it works out.