Wednesday, January 02, 2008

What I Learned in 2007

One year ago, I proclaimed 2007 "The Year of the Can". I'm not exactly sure whether or not I succeeded, but it does feel like the right kind of changes are in the works. Slowly though. Very slowly.

In a sense I fell off the wagon these last two months. I've stopped worrying about setting myself up for the future, which is both good and bad. Good? I'm not anxious about wasting time anymore. Bad? I know I am capable of more, and should be taking steps towards making my future happier and more productive.

I've rationalized this by telling myself that, since I will be skipping town (perhaps for good?) at the end of this coming summer, there is no point in building towards anything because I'll be starting over again in a few months. Of course, I realize this is stupid, but as Memento proclaims:
So you lie to make yourself happy, nothing wrong with that. Everybody does it! So what if there's a few little details you'd rather not remember?
But what I'd really like is to not have to lie...or more correctly: why can't admitting to yourself what's really going on be 90% of the battle? It feels like much, much less right now.

What did I learn in 2007?
  • Death can be a powerful catalyst - in the short term. It's sad how quickly you can go back to your old ways...the ways you thought the experience would change you forever.
  • It is always better to prepare first and kill time second. Never the other way around.
  • The grass always seems greener. At this moment, I'm almost certain I would feel exactly the same about my life even if I had not switched careers.
  • I say that people are the most important thing to me, but I rarely live up to that. I want to want closer relationships, but if I never take the right steps to make that happen, isn't that a sign? Sometimes it just feels like "hanging out in the company of people I care about".
  • I have long term ADD. Instead of switching tasks every 5 minutes (which I also do, but not chronically), my primary interests switch every few weeks.
  • Information browsing should only be used for inspiration, not as a strategy for gaining knowledge. Before the internet, it made sense to devour any useful tidbit of information that came your way. Now, ANYTHING you will ever need to know can be found in seconds. Educate yourself on an as needed basis, otherwise it's just information overload. Every. Single. Day.
What have you learned?

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