Monday, November 13, 2006

Alone in a Crowded Room

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you
I said the world could be burning down
~from Dark Blue, Jack's Mannequin

Does this happen to anyone else? You're out at a party in a room full of people, and not really interested in talking to any of them? I don't even mean in the sense that "you have nothing to talk about". For me, I could be in a room full of people that I know, but I'm perfectly content to just sit there and watch. What's even weirder is that even though I am watching and listening, I often won't remember the specifics of what I hear.

Why do I do this? I'm not exactly sure.

Some of it may be that I don't need to talk, in the same way some people do. You know the people I'm talking about -- they can't wait for you to finish your thought so they can interject their own.

Another reason that I might be content to just blend in, is that I'm more interested in what people are like. You don't need to be the one asking questions to figure this out. Just watch. And listen.

Sometimes I end up feeling alone. Like, being able to sit there and be comfortable without having to engage in smalltalk with the person next to me makes me fundamentally different. Does this ever happen to anyone else?

2 comments:

Kelly said...

oh ryan, this happens so much. and not in the sense that I am not interesting enough or funny enough to talk to people, but just like you described...I'm cool just observing people.

although my contentment with the situation doesn't usually last that long. when I find myself taking a step back from the present and disengaging from the people around me, I'm usually ready to leave. and once I hit that point, there's not much that can be done to bring me back.

Tillie said...

I like the use of the Jack's Mannequin quote, although I think the band is referring to something different.

But as for the rest of your post...
"Another reason that I might be content to just blend in, is that I'm more interested in what people are like. You don't need to be the one asking questions to figure this out. Just watch. And listen."--Saying I agree with this paragraph doesn't cover it. I can't express the same thought differently than how you've put it.

I also find it interesting that your preferred way to know what people are like is to not engage in conversation.