Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Lying to yourself

From the Bloc Party song "Uniform" comes the lyric:
I've gotten so good at lying to myself
And it's true, we all have. The easiest person to fool is yourself. Have you ever been in a fantastic relationship where, as soon as you broke up, there was a general sigh of relief from friends and family? Even though everyone else could see the truth, you bought into your own lies.

That's some messed up mental survival tactic we've created for ourselves. Rather than figure out the way we really feel, we subconsciously (or even consciously) convince ourselves that the lie is what's real. It makes things easier and less painful.

Until it all collapses in the end anyway. (I apologize for this starting to sound like my recent post about trading long term happiness for short term happiness).

When our mind objects to something, we ask ourselves "what do I need to do to stop thinking and feeling this way?" The easiest answer is to feed it a lie. The lie is quick, dirty, and placating. Then it gets drilled in by repetition.

Avoid the lie by asking the right question: "why do I feel this way?" Figuring that out will give you your answer. The lie only gives you an excuse.

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